Laskin.com
JOB SEARCH FUN: THE PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR YOU. IF YOU SPEAK URDU, WORK WEEKENDS, AND DON'T MIND WORKING IN CRAMPED POSITIONS.

We keep hearing that the job market is improving. Sure, there are plenty of jobs... if you have the qualifications, or the desire. Actual quotes from actual job descriptions posted on the Internet. 100% real jobs.

4.16.02
Seeking a professional Web site project manager with at least 4 years of active experience on at least 8 projects.... must know how to manage budget and schedule issues ... must have had hands-on programming experience with Active Server Pages, MS SQL, XML, hardware and software system architecture, systems administration... site registration & DNS issues, security certificates, and emails systems. Graphic design skills, familiarity with MS Project 2000 and Excel reporting, familiarity with WebTrends configuration, content management systems and issues, and experience working with marketing teams... candidates with immediate availability are preferred.

Must also have a degree in economics, experience with small children, and a good singing voice.

4/11/02
Collect samples for/and perform routine... procedures (i.e. fecal examination... maintain rodent and non-rodent surgical areas in compliance with regulatory guidelines... assist... with rodent and non-rodent surgical procedures by performing... patient preparation.

[How do you prepare a rat for surgery? Shave it? Are we talking about rat shaving?]

 

4/11/02
Bilingual English/Urdu preferred. You must be willing to work days, evenings and weekends.


found by Justin 4/10/02
Work is performed outdoors, often under adverse weather conditions. Work requires frequent bending, stooping, walking, standing, working in cramped positions and climbing. Work requires prolonged standing on concrete floors and walking over a rough and uneven terrain. Work requires lifting and moving heavy items.


Send me the craziest job descriptions you've found.

Thanks to Justin for the inspiration.


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